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They have a clear affection for each other, touching each other gently on the shoulder when one says something the other appreciates and often looking at each other lovingly throughout conversation. Their respect and adoration for one another comes through even over a Skype call from their home in Queensland, Australia.
Their home appears cozy and comfortable, and Garett works long hours while Ellie stays home and tends to household needs. For many, there is a sexual aspect to the nursing part of their relationship, but Adult Nursing Relationships ANRs are not strictly sexual. On the social media site FetLife, which serves people interested in BDSM and kink, a few thousand users discuss how they simply enjoy the act of suckling or exchanging milk while cuddling or watching TV on some nights, while on other nights the milk exchange may be part of their foreplay or sex itself.
The dynamics of these relationships can be incredibly varied, and they are not limited to heterosexual pairings — there are many women who enjoy the act of suckling a partner, too. Some are women who decided to induce lactation for their own reasons — perhaps they were unable to have children and lactating makes them feel more connected to their femininity, or provides some sort of emotional satisfaction — and enjoy sharing their milk with partners.
Others do it within the context of a monogamous relationship. One woman on FetLife wrote that she induced lactation to nurse her husband but, as he travels a lot, she shares her milk with other men when he is out of town to keep up her milk supply. And still others have breastfeeding relationships that are completely non-sexual in nature. But this is not adult baby syndrome or age play, which involve the fetish of being infantilized. The person suckling the milk from the breast does not pretend to be an infant or child, and the person providing the milk does not baby their partner.
So what draws people into such uncommon and misunderstood relationships? It is released during arousal and sexual activity, but even more so during nursing. Not only that, its release produces a relaxing effect for both partners. This is partially backed up by scientific research, which shows that oxytocin can lessen fear and anxiety by reducing activation of the amygdala. Prolactin, the other hormone produced by lactation, has also been shown to lower stress in the person producing it, with lactating women demonstrating less intense responses to adrenaline.
In fact, Christopher, 59, says he discovered ANR after he started dating a woman who was breastfeeding her child when they met and he found that he really enjoyed the milk. Christopher was in a three year ANR with a woman, and as their relationship grew, they found that breastfeeding was an intimate act that bonded them to each other deeply. I tend to feel a calming sense of well-being and being loved that I do not experience from any other form of intimate contact with a companion.
For many people who enter into an ANR, the sense of nurturing the nursing relationship provides is a huge motivation — and reward. For the person being suckled, it creates a feeling of taking care of and nurturing their partner, while the person who does the suckling can feel incredibly connected to their partner and cared for by the act.
Something that is her [her milk] literally becomes part of the person that feeds on it. That closeness and connection is a theme that comes up over and over again in discussions on FetLife, even more than the sexual nature of breasts or the turn-on of sharing milk with a partner. So while the majority of ANR participants acknowledge that there is a sexual aspect that draws them to it, the intimacy created between the two participants seems to be the focus.
Chelsea described her journey to lactation as requiring a great deal of patience, time, money, and research. She has an alarm on her phone that goes off to remind her to pump throughout the day so that she can maintain a milk supply. In addition to the commitment involved in induction itself, once a milk supply is established, it requires a real dedication on behalf of both members of the relationship to keep it going. Breast milk works by supply and demand: if the body receives the message that no more milk is needed — say, from a lack of nipple stimulation and milk expression — it will stop producing it.
But if milk is not expressed on a regular basis, it can also lead to infections or clogged milk ducts, which can be incredibly painful. Therefore both partners need to be willing to ensure that they are prepared for the high level of both physical and emotional dependence that can be created when one partner induces lactation for the other. The health benefits of breast milk are not unique to Chelsea and her wife; some studies have even suggested a substance found in human milk has the potential to fight cancer.
Anecdotally, people have shared stories of treating their cancer or chemotherapy side effects with breast milk. And while ANR participants enjoy their relationships immensely, many people who engage in ANR do not find it a constant necessity. Ellie is also prone to losing her milk supply during times of great stress, like when she lost a family member recently. While the ANR community wishes that there were less judgment and stigma around their lifestyle choice, they have also found peace and acceptance among each other. Newswire Powered by. Close the menu. Rolling Stone.
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